I'm right and you're $#*%)#!

I had a very interesting discussion yesterday with Junior, our housemate. He's only 21, but I think he has "an old soul."

Junior was lamenting the lack of civility and common decency displayed by his generation. (Yes, he actually referred to people his own age as "this generation.") He decided that just because we can put everything out there on Facebook or Twitter, doesn't mean we ought to. And just because we can comment or make [disparaging] remarks about someone's posts or photos or status updates, doesn't mean it's the smartest thing to do. Whatever happened to conversation? Whatever happened to kindness? This was refreshing to hear from a 21-year-old.

At first we thought it might be the internet that gives us this feeling of anonymity; it's a way to put our opinions out there without the responsibility of actually having a face-to-face conversation.

"I've said my piece, I don't have to listen to, or read, yours and that's the end of it. Ha! So there!"

But it isn't just the internet that gives people the idea that they have license to say whatever they want - there is this idea roaming around that words, beliefs and thoughts have no consequences. 

"After all, I have the right to free speech, right? I have the right to believe whatever I want, right? And if my beliefs have no consequences, then my beliefs are correct, and therefore my beliefs are THE TRUTH. And if my beliefs are THE TRUTH, then everyone in the world should agree with me and abide by my truth." 

It's a twisted logic, and it's dangerous.

At the dangerous end of the spectrum are the people who want to tell everyone else what to do, how to think, and how to live. They think their belief - their "truth" - is the only truth, and somehow God has given them the task of enforcing it. We all know who they are...the folks that picket funerals, the guys that shoot girls in the head because they dare to want an education, people that flip you off on the highway, or guys who want to make sure we all carry our birth certificates in order to use the proper restroom. It doesn't seem to occur to them that they might be wrong.

At the other end of the spectrum are those of us who shake our heads in disbelief and wonder, What on earth are they thinking?

So here's an idea: Let's have a civil conversation. With both parties actually listening to the other side. We don't have to agree on everything. In fact, we might just agree to disagree. We might learn something, or see an issue from a new angle. And we can even respect one another as people! Now there's an idea with consequences!

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." 

Romans 12:18

Be Still

Be Still.

When was the last time you were actually still? (Not counting when you're asleep, of course.)

It isn't easy to be still. To not move. Not think. Not make to-do lists in your head, or rerun that annoying song from the 80's that is stuck in your head. Not to turn on YouTube and mindlessly watch videos of salsa-dancing chihuahuas. Not to surf Facebook - pretending to be still - but actually spying on your friends and wondering why they watch Duck Dynasty.

BE STILL.

For people who are naturally gregarious, people who are "driven," have ADHD, the "Type A's"  and those with extroverted tendencies, being still can be a real challenge. For those of us who are naturally introverted, being still may come easier. (Please note: Introverts aren't shy, they just recharge by being alone, as opposed to extroverts who recharge better in a crowd or at a party. It has to do with our emotional energy levels.) Yet, we ALL need to occasionally disengage from whatever it is that makes us so busy, and become still.

Jesus was an expert at this. I believe Jesus was an introvert. If you look through the Gospels, you will find that in every single one, the writer reports that Jesus went off by himself. 

"When Jesus hear what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place." Matt. 14:13

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place where he prayed." Mark 1:35

"Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples found him..." Luke 9:18

"Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself." John 6:15

Naturally, since Jesus was off by himself, none of the disciples or Gospel writers were witness to what transpired in those solitary places. I have to think that Jesus was an introvert and He spent time alone, being still, and praying in order to re-energize himself for the ministry tasks that were inevitably coming up in the next few days.

Peter, on the other hand, strikes me as more of an extrovert. Always wanting to plow ahead, to jump in with the right answer, to DO something, Peter only paused for prayer when he was reminded to do so. And yet, in Acts 1:12-14, Peter and the others "went upstairs to the room where they were staying...they all joined together constantly in prayer." Extroverts can pause and become still when the situation requires it.

Susan Cain, an author and speaker, says "Solitude matters. And for some people, it is the air that they breathe."

Be still. Don't put it on your calendar for next Tuesday, just do it. Right now.
Close your eyes.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.
Be still.

Holding Hands With God

 

The other day I had the privilege of spending half an hour with a gentleman by the name of Leslie. 

Les is from a small town in Arizona, and spent much of his 80+ years working on a ranch. He is a proud man and is fastidious about his appearance; his cowboy boots are shined, pearl-buttoned shirt is tucked in, and he insists his Wranglers are pressed and starched, or he refuses to put them on. He still proudly wears that silver buckle that he won in a roping event, decades ago. His graying hair is neatly trimmed, and his blue eyes still twinkle when he hears someone call his name. But Les is trapped inside a body that he doesn't recognize anymore; a body that refuses to cooperate with him.  

Les has a form of Parkinson's disease. In addition to the sometimes violent tremors in his hands, Les finds it difficult to communicate. Part of his brain has slowed down to the speed of molasses. It isn't that he is slow in understanding - he knows exactly what is going on at all times - it's just that his reactions and speech get bogged down somewhere between his brain and his mouth. It's as if the words have suddenly decided to take a detour through Tokyo. It makes for long silences between questions and answers. Needless to say this is frustrating, both to Les and to the people who care for him.

Les and I sat on a bench by the garden, despite the chill in the air. I gave him communion, and asked him if he would pray with me. We closed our eyes, I held his shaking hands and invited the Holy Spirit to join us. And in that moment, I felt a warm tingling - like an electric current - course down through my arms and hands, and Les' hands became still. 

In that moment, we held hands with God. 

I wish I could say that Les was miraculously healed, but the tremors were back within a minute. Despite our prayers, Les' disease may still progress. His speech may eventually become even more difficult, and the tremors may become more intrusive. But in that moment, we both knew that God still loves him and hasn't deserted him. In that moment, we felt peace. And that is enough.

She said WHAT?!

Ever have one of those days, where everything is going just peachy and you're feeling fine, and then you read something that just sets your hair on end and sends you hurtling into a bad mood in 1.2 seconds? I had one of those days today.

Normally I don't let the little things bother me. I live by the adage that I should never take things personally. I think that whatever someone says to me reveals more about them than it does about me. I firmly believe that I don't know what your life is really like, therefore I am not permitted to comment on it, and vice-versa. I respect people's decisions, and I expect the same in return. I was raised to believe that we should say nice things to one another. You know, Be Kind. Maybe that's where I've been mistaken.

I received a very rude message today from someone who felt the need to comment disparagingly on my parenting skills, my values, my faith and my lifestyle. It was a very personal attack. And I was stunned.

This is someone who doesn't know me well. We were very good friends at one time, but haven't been close for years. There has been no consistent communication between us in a very long time. So I was baffled - by the venom, by the rudeness - but mostly I was baffled as to why I was chosen as a target.

It's a very sad commentary on society in general, and this person's life in particular. I am saddened by the fact that common decency is no longer common. I am saddened that someone would lash out so viciously  without provocation. I am saddened that this person must be dealing with something that is too big for them to bear. And I am saddened that I let it hurt my feelings.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." ~ His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

"Deeds of kindness are equal in weight to all the commandments." ~The Talmud

Wearing the collar and saving the bow

This past weekend I was Ordained.

My kids asked me what this means, and if they have to call me "Father Mom."

It means that I am now - officially - a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the Reformed Church in America.

It means I can be called Reverend. (not Father Mom)

It means I can wear the collar and the stole.

It means I can put a "Clergy" placard on my dashboard and park a little closer to the hospital entrance, if I need to.

It means I can be called upon to pray in public, or at the dinner table. Not that I haven't been before, but now I'm expected to say "Of course!" and launch into an impressive and theologically-sound missive thanking God for pizza.

More importantly to me, Ordination means that the calling I heard from God so clearly when I was 13, has been validated by the church. It means that I publicly promised to live for Christ; to love God and to love people. It means that everything I have undertaken and accomplished over the past 10 years or so (Seminary, Clinical Pastoral Education, internships, post-graduate courses, etc.) was recognized by the church. It means that everything has changed. It also means that nothing has changed.

When I was a kid, every time we unwrapped a gift, my mother would say "Save the bow!" She was big on reusing things. But sometimes she would put aside the bow in order to remember the occasion.

My ordination is the Bow on the Gift that God has given me - the Gift of a call to ministry. 

I'm so thankful for that gift. And I will save the bow.

Guest Starring...David!

Today's blog post was written by my David - my husband, ministry partner, and best friend. Enjoy!

Deacon’s Year End Report

Greetings and Blessing from the Oasis Renewal Center.  2012 was a year of incredible blessings for the Oasis as we have seen God’s plan for us revealed.  I am truly awed and humbled by the gifts we have received, and the stunning vision that the Lord has laid out for us.  Not only has this been a transformative year for the Oasis but for me personally as well.  Thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged us this past year.  We hope that you will continue on this journey with us.

Most of you know the story of our journey this year.  Susan and I talked and prayed about where our lives should go and how we could best serve the Kingdom, and we began to develop the idea for the Oasis Renewal Center.  We wanted to eventually open a retreat center, combining her gifts in worship and counseling with mine in hospitality and administration.  Sort of like a church and bed and breakfast rolled into one.  We wanted to create a serene, safe place where people could come and grow closer to God and each other.  We expected that sometime much later - like when we retired - we could open a place like that.

It was a pleasant dream and we began to explore Arizona looking for a community to eventually settle in.  Arizona has such a diverse climate that we looked at alpine valleys, searing deserts and lush riparian wetlands – all within an hour or so of a major airport.  A thousand miles later we ended up back in Sonoita – a beautiful high desert oasis we had driven through the summer before and were immediately drawn to.  And then we got a big shove and all of the reasons to wait simply vanished. (Both of us found ourselves unemployed within a week!)  What had been a distant dream was suddenly much closer and we felt called to pursue it.  It’s hard not to believe that God has a plan for us when you look at all the improbable pieces that have come together for us in order for the Oasis to be born.  Fittingly we purchased the Oasis on December 21^st and held our first Christmas service there two days later.

The biggest lessons I have learned through this process are patience and faith.  My faith has been tested regularly this year and quite vigorously at times.  We had been given the vision to pursue the Oasis, both Susan and I felt it clearly in our hearts and in our prayers, and yet there seemed to be so many insurmountable obstacles.  How could this possibly work?  The truth is that without faith and patience it never could have; this is nothing that Susan or I could have done on our own.  There is no way our works or our efforts could have led us here, only our faith and our desire to serve as we had been called could have made this possible.  We had to trust that God would provide us what we needed, when we needed it – and He has.

There have been a half dozen times in the past year where we have hit a brick wall trying to follow our call and it seemed like we would fail.  Through patience and faith we persevered and trusted that God would provide, an in each case we have been given our daily bread – just enough for what we need today.  I am struck by the fact that in each case we got exactly what we “needed”, not necessarily what we wanted or what we asked for but enough to carry us through.  The birds trust in God that they will have enough to eat that day, and He provides that for them.  They don’t get a month’s supply, they get their daily bread.  As we have progressed on this journey I have learned to trust that He will provide the same for us as we pursue our service to the Kingdom.  I could go on, but the important point is that we have been blessed with exactly what we needed when we needed it so often this year that my only reasonable conclusion can be that God is at work.

And so let’s recap where the Oasis is at the end of 2012 and where we hope to go in 2013.

The Oasis received nearly $10,000 in donations last year from dozens of generous donors around the country – and we are so grateful for your support!  We have received donations of time, talent and treasure from many wonderful people.  A number of folks have gone down to the property to help with the renovations or have already committed to in the next few months.  Others have contributed tools, furnishings and art work.  And several folks have donated their unique talents as we have developed our ministry and marketing materials.  To everyone, thank you again!

As I said, God has given us our daily bread.  We have raised enough money to purchase the property and begin the renovation.  Our current donations will allow us to complete the demolition phase and remodel the bathrooms.  We are updating the two full baths and reconfiguring the four bedrooms to accommodate up to 12 guests.  We have most of the tools and materials we need for this phase, and several volunteer laborers!

The current state of the property is charitably described as “rustic” although we expect that when we are complete with the renovations we will be on track to achieve the upscale feel we are looking for.  Two of the guest rooms will feature a pair of twin beds, a dresser, night stand and sleeper sofa. The twin beds can convert into a king bed for couples.  A third guest room will have a queen bed, dresser, futon and a private bath.  The fourth guest room will feature a pair of twin beds, a dresser and night stand.  We are well on our way to furnishing these rooms with our donations and commitments to date.

The next major indoor project that we need help with is the wood floors and trim throughout the living quarters.  We are looking to install bamboo wood floors and trim in all of the bed rooms and the living room.  We selected bamboo because it is a durable and sustainable resource that fits well with our philosophy of being good stewards of creation.  The wood floors and trim will give a warm, relaxed feel to the Oasis. Our projected cost for this project is approximately $5,000.

The second major indoor project that we are looking to undertake is the renovation of the kitchen.  We have purchased a beautiful dining room table with chairs and bench seating.  The problem is that the cabinets and countertop are... well, hideous. (Olive green tile!)  We will need new cabinets, a new stove, dishwasher and refrigerator.  We will tile the countertop and backsplash once we collect these pieces.  We also need a washer and dryer.  If there are any of these items that you can help with we would greatly appreciate it - just let me know!

Once the indoor renovations are complete we will begin work on some of the exterior updates.  The most critical, and the most expensive, is the 35 year old roof.  It has been patched but really needs to be replaced sooner rather than later.  We want to coordinate the roof project with the addition of a grid-tied solar electric system.  Our goal for the Oasis is to create a self-sustaining community resource so this is an important piece.  It’s also a very expensive piece, with a final cost of $20-25,000.

Our 16-acre property sits on a hill top amid scrub oaks, juniper and waist-high native grasses.  We plan to carve walking paths to quiet seating areas, build a labyrinth and install a number of fountains and ponds.  It’s so exciting to see the wonderful gift God has entrusted to us, and frustrating to have to wait to see it completed.  Faith and patience again.

We ask that you continue to pray for us and support us in any way you can.  If you can help with volunteering your time, or donating needed items; donating for a specific project, or to the general fund, it would be greatly appreciated.  Please let Susan or I know if you can help.

 

David

Listening to God Giggle

Remember just a few weeks ago, when I was complaining about waiting? God has such a funny sense of humor! He must have read my post, giggled and thought, "Hmmm...tired of waiting, are we? OK then, try some extreme multi-tasking for a while! See how you like that!"

On December 21st (seriously, 4 days before Christmas!) we closed on The Oasis ranch property, David sold his car, and I got a confirmed date for my Ordination!  (January 12 - more on that in a bit)

We have also received many donations and offers of volunteer help for The Oasis, and began the daunting tasks of demolishing some of the unneeded walls and closets in the house, and launching our remodeling plan. (The photo above is the half-wall in the living room coming down, thanks to Tanner and Jake.) Then I noticed the after-Christmas sales, and began to think about furnishing and decorating....

All of that sounds like fun, right? It sound wonderful and downright amazing! The problem is that while we were waiting...and waiting...and waiting...we felt a little stuck. Now that the waiting is suddenly over, it seems like everything has to be done right now, and I feel like I'm herding cats! It's been a bit overwhelming to have to coordinate renovation materials and crews, file our our zoning application, write my Ordination service, and still maintain my focus on celebrating Christmas in a reverent and meaningful way. (I can hear God laughing and slapping his knees at that one!)

Please understand that I am not complaining. I am overjoyed - and very humbled - by how lavishly God has blessed us this year! In fact, I simply stand in awe at how God has pulled everything for The Oasis together in the way that He did. Just six months ago, we were still trying to discern in which part of Arizona our retreat center would ultimately be located. And now I'm comparing prices on wood flooring. Meanwhile, God has been taking care of all the details. 

Which brings me to my Ordination service. It will be held on Saturday, January 12, 2013 at 5pm, at Longview Community Church in Phoenix. Afterwards, there will be a casual reception with refreshments. I'd be honored by your presence. 

I know that God called me to become a Minister of Word and Sacrament within the RCA. The road has been long, with several detours along the way. I mean, I graduated from seminary in December 2006, for Pete's sake! Silly me - I thought I'd graduate, find a church, get ordained and start full-time ministry within...I don't know... a month? 

Now here it is, six years later... And I can hear that giggle starting up again...